Tuesday, April 27, 2010


Commitment, I don't like that word much. I usually trick myself into thinking I like it and that I am committed...but really am I?

That hurts, to sit down and really think about my life and my commitments. Sure I am committed to the things that I HAVE to be committed to. I am committed to cooking dinner, clean clothes, picking kids up from school, brushed teeth and hair, basically the day to day tasks that wouldn't get done unless I did them. I look at these things like taxes and the IRS... they have to be done no matter what, serious consequences occur when not done. Don't get me wrong, I do a pretty good job at all of these things, my family is fairly functional, I have amazing kids and a wonderful husband. We enjoy life and all of the activities Alaska has to offer. Life looks pretty good.

I am talking about a totally and entirely different realm. What I have recently begun to struggle with is that when a day is done and everyone is tucked in and sleeping peacefully, did I really go any further than I promised myself I would. Did I go above and beyond my basic call of duty? Do I require, desire, or deserve more out of this life? Does my family? Even bigger question.....Does God require, desire, or deserve more than I am giving him or my family? OUCH!!! That one stings a bit.  I know and accept the stage of life I am in now, I am happy with raising kids, building lives, and feel that as of now this is my calling. This is what I am supposed to be doing. The question is, should I be giving it more gusto? Am I satisfied with my efforts and my fruits? NO, not by a long shot. I was created to be and do so much more than what I settle for and make others settle for on a daily basis.

I look back over my life and think of all the promises I have made to myself and others over the years. You know the ones I am talking about.... the I'm gonna lose 10 lbs by my birthday, the I'm gonna get totally organized by the beginning of the year, the I'm gonna run a marathon this summer, the I'm gonna take my kids on more day trips and outings, the I'm gonna keep my blog updated, the I'm gonna read the bible all the way through this year, the I'm gonna establish a daily devotional and prayer routine .....the list could go on and on and on.... These are all desires of my heart, that is what a promise is right? It's something you want so badly at the moment that you make a promise meaning that you will stop at nothing to get or achieve it. Something always gets in the way of my nothing. That something is commitment. You are probably thinking by now where is all of this coming from, it is a concept that I have struggled with for a while now. When I stumbled across this blurb on the internet the other day it hit me HARD...

"COMMITMENT, Commitment is what transforms a promise into reality. It is the words that speak boldly of your intentions and the actions which speak louder than the words. It is making the time when there is none, coming through time after time, year after year. Commitment is the stuff character is made of: the power to change the face of things. It is the daily triumph of integrity over skepticism."

Do my actions speak louder than my words....NO, Do I make time for the other things in my life....NO, Do I come  through time after time....Definitely NO......BUT do I have the power through God and my commitments to change the face of things.....YES!!!! Thank you Jesus for that! Can I change my life......YES, Can I bear more fruit....YES!!! It all begins with me...and so here I am committed to rectifying one of my promises and  updating my blog.

Thanks for listening...